Last week I said find things you are afraid and just do them. While this is true, there is also nuance to it. Firstly, find things you are afraid of but would like to try or things that you are afraid of that you know will enhance your confidence and well-being in the world.
In other words, if jumping out of a plane terrifies you and you have little interest in doing it, then don't.
So, let's say you know the thing, because you definitely know the thing even if you haven't admitted it to yourself yet. You might need to take small steps towards it so that you don't become overwhelmed and run a mile from it. This weeks newsletter asks the question, how do we build confidence?
Rugby was a thing I fancied a go at but was afraid of doing. Anyway, I swallow hard and join the rugby club. A big win in itself. I'm out on the field training and how do I manage myself when there is 17-stone rugby player with 15-years' rugby experience running at me? And I'm a 35-year old who has spent the previous 20-years as a distance runner?
Well, I don't focus on making the perfect tackle, I just focus on getting in the way with a bunch of other guys and trying to stop him. Success. I then give myself 3 pats on the hip, my way of internally complimenting myself for doing the scary thing.
Next I focus on trying to get the right body position for the tackle without worrying too much about the success of the tackle. Success. Repeat the encouragement.
Eventually, I make a tackle. Eventually I make a big tackle. Eventually, I tackle the 17-stone rugby player.
The moral of this week's story. Small exposures, big encouragement. Repeat.
What is the thing? When will you do the thing? Can you be nice to yourself for trying?
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Peter
Check out my web-site: peterfrancis.ie and email me at: growth@peterfrancis.ie
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