Oddly, being a little delusional can be a good thing… allow hopes to lift you up and facts to ground you … why a little unreasonable optimism can help you grow …
When beginning something, whether it’s a new job, a creative project, a relationship, or starting a business, people often take steps forward without full knowledge of what lies ahead. Oddly enough, that’s sometimes a good thing. If humans were perfectly rational, they might never start anything at all. It takes a little delusional belief sometimes to get started. Psychologists understand that almost everyone has mild distortions or delusions of reality and that some of these delusions are not only harmless but helpful. The word “delusion” comes from the Latin word “deludere” meaning “to play, to mock, to deceive.” Historically, it refers to beliefs that stray far from reality. Psychologists use terms such as optimism bias, unreasonable optimism, the planning fallacy, and the confidence effect. From Tali Sharot’s research, “optimism bias” is the belief that things will turn out better than statistics suggest. In behavioural psychology, “the planning fallacy” is the tendency to underestimate how long things will take, yet still get them done, and “the confidence effect” is when people often begin something challenging because they imagine they can handle it, even when they don’t yet know how. Here, I’m not talking about clinical delusions or ignoring serious warning signs. I’m talking about unreasonable hope, optimism that outruns current evidence, believing in possibilities before they are visible, and starting the journey before we feel ready. This kind of healthy irrationality enables courage, momentum, and creativity. The benefits of being a little delusional include the following: It lowers the barrier to entry: If people knew every challenge of starting a business, writing a book, or changing their life, most would never begin. A little bit of ignorance, though a bit delusional, protects people from paralysis. It fuels persistence: Hope, even slightly unrealistic hope, keeps people going long enough to build resilience. It sparks creativity: Innovation often begins with, “What if…?” which is a question that lies just outside the boundaries of reality. It keeps anxiety in check: A little delusion, such as “I can figure this out,” reduces the fear that stops many people from taking positive risks. It supports emotional recovery: During hard times, belief in a better future, before there is proof, is one of the strongest predictors of healing. The downsides of being too delusional include the following: It leads to overcommitment: People may take on more than they can handle because they underestimate complexity. There is a denial of reality: If optimism becomes avoidance, problems deepen instead of dissolving. Ignoring red flags: Believing things will “just work out” can prevent necessary planning and boundary-setting. Burnout: Unrealistic expectations can collapse under pressure. Losing touch with support: Extreme self-belief can make some people feel that they must do everything alone. The goal is not to eliminate delusion. The goal is to stay in the healthy range by staying grounded, by saying something like, “I don’t know everything that’s coming, but I believe I can learn, adapt, and grow.” This middle path combines optimism with self-awareness. Though delusion shouldn’t be permanent, a little amount of imaginative optimism protects people’s courage, encourages experimentation, nurtures healing, and opens doors that realism alone might close. To stay grounded, do micro-experiments by testing small low-risk activities, such as doing a pilot project, trialling an activity for a short period – maybe a month, writing a sample chapter to share or mull over, or accepting a mini business offer. Then take note of what happens and how you feel. Create a “reality check circle” by choosing two or three trusted people who support your ideas but tell you the truth. If they don’t panic at your ambition, their feedback can keep you balanced. Use the two-column method by writing the following to help distinguish between hope and fact without curbing your enthusiasm: Column A: “What I believe about this goal.” Column B: “What I actually know so far.” Check your energy level, not just your ideas, because reality often shows up in your body: are you exhausted, or excited but overwhelmed, or energised and curious? Try these three short exercises: Three hopes, three facts exercise: To balance imagination with evidence, for 5 minutes, pause and breathe slowly. Write down 3 hopes – things you want to be true but aren’t yet, e.g., “I hope the business grows.” Write down 3 facts that are definitely true right now about your goal or situation. Read both sides aloud. Allow hopes to lift you up and facts to ground you. This helps to keep optimism intact while connecting to reality. Sensory scan for reality anchoring: To keep in the present moment, for 2 minutes, sit comfortably and notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one long breath out. This helps to ground the nervous system and reduce the tendency to drift too far into wishful thinking or catastrophic thinking. Next small step reality check: To prevent over-delusion, for 2 minutes, think of a big goal. Ask, “What is one tiny, non-heroic action I can take in the next 24 hours?” and write it down. Then actually do it. Examples include write 100 words, email one potential collaborator, set a 10-minute timer to sort out my receipts, invite a friend for coffee, or draft a title for a blog post. This helps to start with a small step, no matter how ambitious the vision is. This prevents drifting into fantasy while maintaining forward movement.
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Thursday, 4 December 2025
Oddly, being a little delusional can be a good thing
Monday, 1 December 2025
This is how poetry heals: discomfort, honesty, burning transformation, release
This is how poetry heals: discomfort, honesty, burning transformation, release… feel it and heal it … and poetry helps ... Poet Tamar Zhghenti presents her poem ...
Prize-winning Georgian poet Tamar Zhghenti is the Poet in Residence on my Rainy Day Healing website. She presents “Poetry” – about its healing power. Tamar’s poem feels like stepping into a world where light has weight, where illumination is something you can swallow, hold, and finally release. The poem personifies poetry as a small sun: warm, volatile, transformative. I feel as if I can ingest it whole. It is a metaphor for the healing process that is uncomfortable, burning, and yet absolutely life-giving. The initial feeling is a sharp, prickling heat, like warm metal resting too long on the skin. The swallowing is both silky and dangerously hot, like tasting something bright and molten. Later, the ache is a deep, slow twist, and a heaviness becoming effervescence. The poem has the tang of something sacred and slightly bitter, like pressing a tongue to a copper coin warmed by the sun. Then it softens into the familiar earthiness of corn, the sharp mustard-seed spice of emotion, the rich smoothness of a yolk. Nourishing, in the end. Golds and yolk-yellows dominate the poem, shifting from the harsh, almost acidic glare of a swallowed sun to the soft, familiar hues of corn and mustard. The stomach feels lit from within; an internal sunrise. There’s also a faint, burnished orange from the fire that churns before becoming light again. There’s nausea; gentle, luminous nausea as if too much light has been taken in and the body must adjust. But it is not sickness; it’s activation. When the light rises again, it feels like the warmth of a heart expanding through the chest. The poem is a meditation on how poetry heals. A wound, a painful feeling begins with discomfort, the raw honesty that must be swallowed. It acknowledges that transformation often burns. It honours the internal process; the turning, the churning, the ache. Finally, it celebrates the return of light: the moment when expression becomes release. The act of swallowing a sun mirrors swallowing pain, tears, memories, and difficult truths. But the poem insists that if we have held sorrow, we can hold light too. The healing is not smooth or delicate; it is visceral, digestive, alchemical. Poetry becomes a fire that moves through the body and resurfaces as illumination rather than injury. When the speaker says “Effervesce!” the poem shifts from internal struggle to radiant offering. The final sensation is that of rising. Tiny bubbles of light are bursting upward, turning heat into brilliance. - Commentary by Martina Nicolls “Poetry” by Tamar Zhghenti, December 2025. It begins with feeling slightly sick— the kind of nausea caused by swallowing a sun. Not the largest star, of course, but still inconvenient for the stomach. First, open your mouth, look the light in the face, extend your tongue, and take the sun whole— the way a frog might snatch a passing glowworm. It burns, yes. That’s part of the arrangement. People will doubt your stomach can hold such matter. Let them. You know there’s room. Anyone who has swallowed tears has space enough for greater fires. The sun, once tasted, becomes ordinary food. It goes down like anything else— corn, mustard, yolk. But later— and it never fails— the sun turns in you. It troubles the gut. It asks to be returned. Bless that ache. Bless the fiery uprush. What rises then is not failure— only light. Effervesce! Tamar Zhghenti: Facebook Martina Nicolls RAINY DAY HEALING: Rainy Day Healing Rainy Day Healing POET IN RESIDENCE: POET IN RESIDENCE
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petrini1 posted: " For Week 7, the theme of genealogist Amy Johnson Crow...
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The power pose of personal peace - with psychological benefits ... ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ...
