Many of us have heard the term "learned hopelessness". Your ability to think for yourself and do things for yourself gets beaten out of you. From negative experiences.
It a form of apathy. And in its most extreme form can lead to death. You just give up.
Stephen Magness discusses this phenomenon in his book Do Hard Things.
Learned hopelessness is a legitimate response to being unable to exert any control.
If you can't control anything, why bother?
Many prisoners of war die this way. All their freedoms are removed. They lose complete control of everything, so they gradually shut down. And die.
In less extreme situations, you still can lose the drive to do anything. To be active. To be social.
How do you turn around this downward spiral?
You build your hopeful muscle by doing things that you can control.
When Victor Frankl was in a concentration camp, he focused on shaving daily. And standing up straight. Small things that he could control.
Making your bed. Brushing your teeth. Doing some stretches in the morning.
Reading something inspirational. Reading poetry.
There are things that you can control even when most of your life seems out of control.
Victor Frankl also noticed that he had control over how he reacted to his situation. He couldn't control the lack of food or the beatings, but he could control how he reacted to them. And how he framed them in his mind.
According to Magness, you start to flex your hopeful muscle when you exert some control. And it enables your pre-frontal cortex to shut off the hopeless muscle.
Controlling small things will help you get out of the downward spiral. Keep focusing on small things you can control.
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