When I started this particular project I was motivated by a strong compulsion to write something that was very personal. I believe that I had read Somerset Maughan's 'Of Human Bondage' prior to starting it. That particular book is considered to be his finest work, although I found it rather tiresome myself, and he admitted that it was semi-autobiographical. Of Human Bondage was not the inspiration for my book; more of a pointer in the direction that I wanted to take. Having begun reviewing the project I have realised that what was always lacking was a roadmap; I had a destination but I did not have a clear way of getting there. I think that I had recognised this problem quite early on in the writing, but I did not really address it until just before I put the whole project on the backburner and left it there to write Victims Never Sleep. Looking at it now I can see why I needed a hiatus from it.
The compulsion to write this book remains, which is good news. It is very different in comparison to anything that I have written before, both in terms of ideas and construction. On the surface it might seem a little lightweight, but just under the first layer there is something deeper going on. Indeed, there is more than one layer. A curious thing is that there is not an obvious antagonist; the role exists but it is played by a concept rather than a person. When I began writing this book I think that this idea confused me somewhat. I thought that I was dealing with things that were only elements of the story and, to some degree, my personal philosophy, but I have now identified that the whole concept was much more complicated than that. The fact is that I was defeated in a creative sense by a very simple idea that could only be realised by writing an intricate book.
I feel that I am in a better position now to complete the project. I understand that this is going to be very personal to me in that almost all of the themes, events, and developments are going to come from my own experience. Essentially, I will be writing about myself, but not in an autobiographical fashion as the plot will only encompass a very short period of time in terms of the protagonist's life. This feels right. My ideas are falling into place. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and I am running towards it; figuratively, not literally that is.
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