We all do self talk. That's when we give ourselves a pep talk or a little encouragement.
Think of the children's story The Little Train That Could: I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
Of course, self talk can negative, too. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I do that?
You get the idea.
In Do Hard Things, Steve Magness talks about how we usually talk to ourselves in the first person. Which is called self-immersed.
When we talk to ourselves in the second person ("You look great today"). Or the third person ("Peter is looking good"), we are being self-distanced.
Self-immersed talk tends to be more emotional. Self-talk or encouragement works better if it is self-distanced.
Speaking in the second or third person creates distance. Between the thing and our emotional response.
It allows us to look at the situation from a different point of view.
Instead of saying "I can get this done!" try the self-distanced approach.
"You can get this done!"
Or "Peter can get this done!" (If your name is Peter, that is. Otherwise, insert your own name.)
It's like how you can give your friends some good advice about a situation they are in. But if you are in the same situation, you can't see the forest for the trees. You're too close to it.
Peter thinks you should try this the next time you need encouragement from yourself.
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