I believe in writing. I have been at this blog for a decade now. In the beginning, I liked encouragement. These days, I couldn't care less when someone encourages me about my writing. It always has this air of "I wouldn't have thought you were a good writer..." and that kinda bothers me. Why not? What about me sounds like bad writing? My job? My hobbies? The things I like to talk about? My clothes? Seriously, there is no signal that suggests that I wouldn't be able to hold my own with a pen/keyboard.
Now-13.5 H- has shared that she reads these posts, and that the result of my "woman hater" (which would be "female hater" if I want to encourage the child to learn reading comprehension--I do--it's "female hater" and I define "female" in contradistinction to "woman" in the post, H-) post from the other day is that she doesn't want to see me or talk to me (at least for now). In any case, and this is the point of this opening, with encouragement, with discouragement, I maintain that writing is good. The rest of this post, then, the part that pertains to the title, is Exhibit A.
The last two posts have been on the topic of men and women and our relationships. In the background, many more thoughts and conversations have been taking place because of these posts and the events which inspired them. So again, I want to write, to catalog. I want to think on them.
The most important result of writing about my friend's looming divorce (in which his wife of twenty years is going to steal his military retirement and hold hostage his two children in Europe, all with the blessing of Missouri and general American Culture), is my own wife and I have come to a shocking realization and subsequent clarity of our perspectives. We laid in bed the other night and bickered about whether I was claiming my friend was 'perfect' when I asserted that 'he did nothing to make her steal from him'. In other words, we realized that even the two of us, husband and wife, see the eternal institutions of marriage and divorce TOTALLY different. (Makes ya wonder what any of us are even doing.)
(You with me thus far?)
I believe this woman--er, this female--, E-, is a terrible creature--less than human--worse than Hitler. I wrote as much a few days back. She is terrible, not for crimes committed, but for crimes she is going to commit until one of them dies. And I further maintain that my friend did not and does not have any influence on E-'s decision to commit these twin crimes (to keep it simple, we'll just call stealing his money and stealing his children the only two crimes--but there are more).
My wife hears me say this and responds, "Oh yeah! I'm sure he is perfect. All your friends are perfect!"
(The point of this post is to report to you, dear reader, not the entirety of the conversation, but the fruit.)
With this, I finally saw the stumbling block to my wife and I's communication.
So I began again, in a new vein, "Do you remember that video of the blacks brawling at Disneyland several years ago?"
"Yes."
"Remember how the dude just punches his girlfriend in the face? He just turns and punches her. It was horrific. I had never seen anything like that ever. That's why I showed it to you. Do you remember?"
"Yes, I remember!"
"Okay. Did that woman have anything to do with him punching her? Was there anything she did that caused him to punch her? Were any of his needs not met by her and so he punched her? Is there anything she did that alleviates his punch of its evil?"
"That's totally-"
"-'No'. The correct answer is, 'No. She had nothing to do with him punching her. A man punching a woman is wrong. It is always wrong. It is squarely wrong. It is never her fault. It is never something she caused. It is just wrong.' And I am saying that, for precisely the same reasons, these women who divorce a man and then proceed to steal from him are likewise wrong. They are likewise committing evil. My friend has no more responsibility for E-'s evil actions (continual actions keep in mind) than that woman did for her boyfriend's punch (probably plural). And stop with 'the Law'. The 'Law' has no bearing on my opinion, and, in fact, is the reason I am so adamant about this belief of mine. All these wives hide behind the 'Law' and comfort themselves with the thought that they are somehow not accountable for the evil they are committing since it is the 'Law'. The 'Law', in this case, is immoral and needs to adapt to the times. Whatever the reasoning that went into 'woman gets half the retirement' was, it is now different. The 'Law' needs to change. You can't take a husband and expect him to somehow 'prevent' divorce, when all the while, all that is required for a divorce is the wife saying, 'I want a divorce.' The way a wife would prove her innocence, would prove she had endured something terrible, is to not take the money. Just divorce him and move on with your life. 'Thanks, but no thanks.' What E- and all the wives are doing is morally wrong--evil."
****
What do you think, dear reader? Think my wife bought my rant? Have I made a dent in your thinking with this analogy, ex-wife collecting retirement as same 'obvious' evil as man punching woman? Or do you need it in writing? Is it possible for my friend to have been an unqualified good husband and father and this still be the result of his behavior?
Or is the fairer sex just too pure to sow and reap evil? Too feeble to ever work for a living? Too unstable to ever reach old age without the financial backing of a man?
No comments:
Post a Comment