Life is about increasing our window of tolerance. Tolerance for what you ask? Tolerance for everything but mostly tolerance for the level of emotional distress we can handle before it manifests in shitty behaviour.
The reason its called a window of tolerance is because as the window gets bigger our emotional distress becomes smaller.
When our window is small, our emotional distress is the same size. In other words we are our emotions. We have already flown off the handle or shut down when someone has become emotional or cut and run from yet another relationship.
A big window means you can observe your feelings from a distance and choose your actions. You can experience your emotions but still function and concentrate on other things at the same time. This is distinct from suppressing your emotions.
The funny thing is we all have different windows of tolerance for different emotions. You might have a big window for sadness and be able to accommodate it comfortably but when it comes to anger you have none so you shut down.
In my case, I had to grow my window of tolerance for many emotions but most of all I had to grow my window of tolerance for intimacy, without doing that I would never have been able to have the satisfying relationships I do now.
What window of tolerance do you need to grow? Enjoying the newsletter and want a friend to sign up and answer the questions/prompts with you? You can send them this link to sign up.
Peter
Check out my web-site: peterfrancis.ie and email me at: growth@peterfrancis.ie
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