In the home comfort zone

petchary

Aug 29

Nowadays it's called "self-care."

I am getting in the habit of it these days; both my husband and I have learned the little things (it's mostly the little things) that make us each feel better. Some of them we share - but not all.

So here is a short list of experiences, tastes, feelings that make me feel comfortable, safe, and "in the moment." Because we must always savour those things, even if they are momentary and fleeting; in fact, especially so. The present moment is the only thing we have that we can be sure of... and this thought alone is comforting, to me. It helps me move through the day (and nights, which are sometimes restless for me) just a little bit better...

OK, putting the philosophising aside, I have found that while recovering physically, certain things cheer me up mentally and spiritually too. My energy has been quite low, and that has translated into a low level of inspiration, at times. I have to push myself.

So, the following things have helped to propel me forward - to "lively up myself" as Bob Marley sang.

There are some "comfort foods," of course. So let me start with one, which I have just consumed:

I know. This looks like an ad. But this brand has almost any kind of tea you can think of, and I like that they are organic and climate neutral. I particularly like the green tea in a whole range of flavours. Also, the white tea - a subtle one. My husband likes the good old spicy chai, in all their flavours. Their teas are just incredibly reviving.

Talking of hot drinks, my great weakness is also hot chocolate. It must be in the evening, though...

And talking of chocolate - dark chocolate, any brand so long as it is really dark, definitely brings a sense of wellbeing. I think this has been scientifically proven? (Well, if it hasn't I am going to pretend it has). While I was recovering from surgery, my sister went out and bought several bars (including the delicious Café Blue range) and we devoured them while watching Netflix in the evenings.

Make sure you get good quality essential oils; the cheaper ones do not smell good, and don't last.

Not only taste, but scents are important for comfort, too. I love lavender oil. Sprinkled lightly on your pillows, it will definitely help you sleep.

Oh yes, Netflix. I keep reading stories about its flagging fortunes, but I still find plenty to love there. You have to dig around a bit for the gems (there are some older movies now available). I am actually fond of the "Scandinavian noir" genre of thrillers, with detectives who rarely smile and action that is mainly in the dark. I also like fantasy and sci-fi ("The Sandman" was beautifully and artistically done and the hugely successful "Stranger Things" was a carefully constructed period piece in more ways than one). All kinds of detective stories, mysteries and a "duppy story" or two (without too much blood and gore) get my mind working - and for me, that is comforting. Not to mention a good documentary: the new one on John McAffee is a treasure.

Talking of Scandinavian, there has to be music. At the moment, it has to be the sublime "post-rock" Icelandic band, Sigur Ros. And a whole mix of others, from dreamy 1970s English folk rock to The Petersens, a young bluegrass band from the Ozarks with sweet voices.

Iceland Noir: "The Valhalla Murders" worked really well for me. I am not sure why I find detective stories so absorbing and enjoyable - even though the Scandinavian ones are dark...

Yes, getting my mind working is part of my comfort zone. By that I mean not focusing on me so much as on some other tough question, a riddle to solve, a story to ponder. That is why I also love the New York Times crossword and spelling bee puzzles - and of course Wordle. Call it a distraction, if you like.

And there is reading, for me perhaps the ultimate "escape." I have had more time for this while in recovery mode, and I am glad for it. I have been hitting my Kindle (and occasionally actual books) on a daily basis. The Oxford University Book Club forced me to read "The Magus" by John Fowles. I staggered through the 600-something pages and have now moved on to another novel, coincidentally also set in Greece, called "The Wrong End of the Telescope" by Rabih Alemaddine, whom I have been following on Twitter for years. It has a series of short and nicely titled chapters; I do like chapters with titles. In between, I hope to be writing some book reviews - so stay tuned.

As perhaps you know, anywhere that birds are is always my comfort zone. So, that includes my yard, where I spend most of my time. This afternoon, it was a scarlet-headed Jamaican Woodpecker pottering in the hedge, tentatively tapping at branches that may contain delicious insects. I record snatches of birdsong on my phone: the Jamaican Euphonia, which I rarely see but has a unique call like someone trying to start a car; or two Northern Mockingbirds having a singing competition. Every day there is something enjoy.

Our dogs are definitely a comforting presence, at all times. Their genuine joy when I say good morning to them, as if we haven't seen each other for years; their over-the-top excitement when I mention their "breakfast" to them (crackers and milk, since they were puppies, and yes, they do understand English); their constant love and fierce protection. Throughout the COVID period, and into this year when we are aware of our vulnerability, it is always good to have them around.

Sweet, lovely... The four-legged members of our family (rescue dogs) are also fiercely protective.

The same goes for the plants in our yard. We now have a container obsession, so we have pots large and small filled with flowering plants - as wide a variety as possible, and trying to include plants that attract hummingbirds, bees, and other pollinators. As with the birds, the flowers and trees are a renewed pleasure each day.

"Self-care" for me has never really extended to things like massages, facials, spas and hair salons, to be honest. But one comfort I discovered recently was having my nails done at home. I now have sky blue toenails, and I like them. I may revisit this!

The greatest comfort of all? Spending time with my husband, chatting, making inane jokes, discussing a bit of politics. Cheering each other up when we are down. Added to that, FaceTime and WhatsApp video chats with our son and my siblings (all overseas). The "goodbyes" always take a minute or two. Somehow I never want to hang up.

That's it. Oh, I forgot one thing. I am never happier than when I am writing something! So I am in my comfort zone right now...